Our Journey to Pregnancy:
The Struggle. The challenge. the reality.
Before sharing and slightly summarizing Greg and I’s journey to conceiving, I want to start by saying that this is simply our journey and what we went through and experienced.
Everybody is different.
For us, it did not happen right away, and frankly, our journey was quite frustrating, tiring and discouraging at times.
I also want to backtrack a bit and give a few extra details that may or may not have played a part along the way – I was on birth control (BC) – an oral pill – for numerous years [almost 10 to be exact]. I decided to come off of it back in February 2018.
This was for two main reasons:
- I wanted to balance out my hormones, as I knew they weren’t, partially due to being on the pill for so long. I also knew it wasn’t necessarily healthy forcing/tricking my body into getting a period every month. Essentially what I had was a “fake period” as do most who are on BC, depending on what type you are on. After educating myself further on this, I no longer wanted that, so I decided that being on the pill was no longer for me.
- Greg and I knew we wanted to start trying for a baby in the months to come, and after doing research, I knew that getting off the pill is not always an easy process and can sometimes take a long time to regulate your hormones again. I wanted to give myself some time to hopefully do so, before we did start trying. Luckily, I got my period back the next month after I stopped the BC pills, but from then on, my period was never regular (as in the same time each month), and it would range from about 24-40 cycle days. This meaning that I was likely experiencing hormonal imbalances.
Fast forward a few months, we started trying in the Summer of 2018. The first few months we knew were going to be challenging because Greg was gone most of the time for work… aka little sexy time = little chance of a baby. Ya feel me?
When he finished his long slew of being away from home, we continued trying but in a more serious, planning type of way. We tracked my cycle and figured out a rough estimate as to when I was ovulating to give us the best chance of conceiving. We thought we were doing enough.
Now in case you didn’t know, plain and simple – IT IS NOT AS EASY GETTING PREGNANT AS YOU MAY THINK. Sounds easy though, right? Have sex a few times without protection, and BAM, pregnant! Yeah…not so much. Although I’m sure a lot of us wish it were that easy sometimes.
Now if you are one of the lucky ones that did get pregnant after the first month of trying, you are in the very small minority, and I’m sure many women (secretly) envy you, in a non-personal way. I’m not saying that to sound ugly towards those that do get pregnant right away as that is awesome if you do! I simply am trying to point out that lots and lots of women/couples have a really hard time conceiving.
[Statistically, 1 in 8 couples are affected by infertility in the US.]
So, Greg and I are trying month after month and each time, I get my hopes up after peeing on the lovely pregnancy test stick. I used this app to help track and estimate my ovulation phase, as my cycle was not regular, making it even more difficult on us. Your highest chance of getting pregnant is during your ovulation phase as that is when the ovary releases the egg to (hopefully) be met with the sperm and become fertilized. If you know when you’re ovulating, as there are often physical signs, it is best to start ‘baby-making’ a few days prior and through the ovulation phase.
Based off of the estimations that the app was giving me, Greg and I did this, often starting a week prior and continuing on at least a week after the phase was past. We did this as we knew the app was not always going to be completely accurate, so we were giving ourselves wiggle room and as we thought, increasing our chances. This continued for several months and the frustration definitely hit as we couldn’t understand how we were doing all of this work, following all of the tips and guidelines that we had read, yet still ending up with a big fat negative, and no fertilized egg.
To be honest, there was a period when I thought I might be the problem, and I know Greg had the same thought about himself a time or two as well. We briefly talked with each other as well as with our general physician about going to see a specialist if we didn’t get pregnant after 6-8 months or so of trying.
The month came when we were very hopeful as we thought we had the highest chance of getting pregnant that month. We followed everything to a T. A few days before I was supposed to get my period, I impatiently decided to take an early detection pregnancy test. I was nervous and anxious, to say the least. I peed on the stick and waited the allotted few minutes before looking at the results. I swore that I saw the faintest line (indicating pregnancy), but I also thought that my eyes were seeing only what they hoped was there. I showed Greg and he too thought he may have seen something, but about 5 minutes after, what may have been there, I no longer saw. I didn’t get too excited, but I was definitely feeling hopeful and decided that I would retest again in a few days as my hCG levels should increase and show a darker line if I was indeed pregnant.
[hCG is the hormone that is produced by the placenta after implantation and sets off the pregnancy test if you are in fact pregnant.]
After what felt like the longest few days ever, I was eager to take another test. I did and to my dreaded reality, it was a big, fat negative.
Nothing even close to being a faint line was present. I was angry, disappointed and hopeless – to say the least. A part of me just wanted to take a break and stop trying. Greg was there with me when I took the test and of course, he comforted me and encouraged me that our time would come. I knew he was right, but at the time I couldn’t help but feel like it was never going to be our reality.
Fast forward to 4-5 days after I took the 2nd pregnancy test, and I still hadn’t gotten my period. This wasn’t as alarming or symptomatic however, as again, my periods were not regular and sometimes my cycle was a long as 40 days (a regular cycle is typically between 28-32). I had the tiniest bit of hope (still) from the very firstt test that possibly had a faint line, so I decided to press my luck for the 3rd time and test again…
This was first thing in the morning on December 18th – I got up as usual, waited for Greg to be done in the bathroom and got out the pregnancy test when he went to the kitchen to make breakfast.
I unwrapped the test, peed on the stick and waiting a few minutes before I finally watched the second pink line showed up indicating that I was indeed pregnant!! I literally could not believe it and instantly started crying. It felt so surreal, and for the first few minutes I wasn’t even sure what to think.
Was this really happening??
That morning was the hardest thing ever as I had to keep my cool and pretend that everything was normal so that I could somehow surprise Greg later that evening. On my lunch break at work, I went to Target and purchase the cutest little baby bear slippers and some plain white onesies. I placed both in a small tin box along with my positive pregnancy tests, (I ended up taking another one when I got home to make sure), and a small note on top that read:
“Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a secret, and here is your clue.”
When he got home from work, I told him that one of his Christmas presents came early, and I was going to let him open it. I grabbed my phone and recorded him as he did. He was so excited when he saw what was inside and all he kept saying is “Are you serious?? Is this for real? You’re really pregnant??” He put his head in his hands and cried (of course a manly, just a few tears/watery eyes cry haha). It really felt so surreal for both us it. It honestly felt like we had waited for so long to finally experience this moment.
To this day, whenever the story is ever re-told, he swears that he knew what was coming when I gave him the little box. When he reads this, he’ll definitely be saying “I did! I knew what it was, especially when you grabbed your phone to record it!” But I refuse to believe so! His story against mine I suppose. 😉
Again, this was a summarized version as I didn’t want to turn it into a novel, but I hope you enjoyed the short-ish read, and that it may have helped someone in the process. Please remember that this is only Greg and I’s journey and what we went through. We have nothing to compare it to, so these are our raw feelings and experiences summarized in a short post.
Please feel free to ask any questions or share your opinions!
Stay tuned for MY next post all about my first trimester, including the symptoms I experienced, supplements I take, and must-haves that I couldn’t get by without!
Xoxo, Alyssa